Robin Clark | Bay Area Coach & Photographer for Women » Coach & Photographer for Women

Taking Your Power Back From Ego When You’re Upset


Lately I’ve been going through something that’s pressing my buttons. I’m not to the point where I can share it with with you and wrap the post up with a pretty pink bow of what I’ve learned. But I can tell you one thing I’m learning big-time that I think will benefit you and it’s this…

When you’re triggered – i.e. emotionally upset in a visceral way that’s consuming your attention – all you want to do is think about what’s going on to try to get to the bottom of it. You want to rake over the pieces, blame, analyze, and basically do anything you can to make the trigger and the source of the trigger go away. But in the moment of being emotionally upset, focusing on what’s going on is actually completely unproductive because you’re being so heavily influenced by ego.

Feeling your emotions is one thing. But chewing, brooding, blaming, hypothesizing, agonizing, etc. is all ego. When you’re triggered the two get mixed together and it’s simply not clear what’s what until the jar of mud settles down inside you.

So here’s the a-ha I had this week… I decided to stop thinking about the situation until I got emotionally clear.

Not in a bypassing or denial-based way. But in an intentional effort to reclaim my inner authority from ego. I saw that a large part of my upset was a byproduct of how ego was manipulating me to look at things. But it had become so loud, I had a difficult time hearing my true feelings or clarity.

Somehow though, my wisdom did get through and said let this go until you calm down. Immediately this felt right. I would tell someone else this in a heartbeat. But it took a moment for me to give myself permission to let go of struggling and choose to cultivate peace, balance, and clarity.

Within hours of this lightbulb going off I started to feel much better (of course). Just remembering that I have the power to choose the tone of my inner landscape and direct my mental and emotional attention hugely shifted the scale back into my court of inner authority. Then, with each day that passed with me doing this, I felt calmer and closer to my clarity, which is what I wanted.

I think one of the biggest things we’re each learning is how to unhook from identifying with ego and align ourselves with our hearts. When things are going our way, we get lazy and fall into unconscious habits. When things are tough, our discomfort lights a fire under our tushes that motivates us to focus on developing our awareness and take our spiritual maturity to the next level.

But you don’t have to wait until a bomb goes off to practice dis-identifying with ego and your monkey mind thoughts and stories. Anytime you’re in problem, limitation, blame, or drama you’re being manipulated by ego. So start with whatever you’ve got. Decide you want to feel clear and calm more than you want to feel engulfed by the hypnotic drama of it all. And if you feel alone, like you’re the only one doing this inner work know that I’m right there with you hacking away at it too.

Kristen Van Liefde -

Thank you Robin! This is great <3

Tara Rose Davison -

This is the best thing anyone could have possibly told me in this moment. Can’t thank you enough.

Jamie Smith -

Yep yep yep… calm the F down, dis identify, re center….oooooh the drama is so hypnotic sometimes! Thank you for this reminder about ego’s very saavy moves to try to be in charge. What a trickster! Live in love, mama.

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