I play with lots of roles in my life. I am an actor. A perpetual performer.
I often create the way I appear to others from the outside in. I think ahead about how I look to someone else. So, when I first thought about the photoshoot, I imagined the end result – what the photos would look like and then how to get there. Robin listened and then gently rejected my plans. It wasn’t that she thought they were wrong but that she suggested another way of working – one that was guided from the inside-out. She was willing to let go of a certainty about how these images would turn out or where we would go. She invited me to come along. And so into the unknown we went.
I chose a dress, a vintage slip, that I bought for its sheer beauty. It’s one of the most delicate things I own. In day-to-day life I prefer to wear sturdy, slightly androgynous clothes.
I encircled my neck and arms and fingers with the silver and turquoise jewelry that my mother and her mother have always loved and worn but that I rarely do.
And then I let myself be seen.
This is a particularly unguarded moment. It’s not a coincidence that my eyes are closed and I am turned away from the mirror.
There is a guide that emerges in these sessions. Robin is quiet and patient and also insistent about allowing intuition to come and join the dance.
The way I feel inside and the way I look on the outside don’t always match up.
Or sometimes they do.
I think often we (especially women) are so unaware of our beauty. So busy thinking about each little flaw and how we should look that we completely miss the real beauty flickering in every moment.
In this picture I usually see my stringy hair and miss the simple architecture of my body in this moment and the sweet line of the lace.
A part of me wants to be revealed.
And another part is afraid.
I love them both. The seen and the unseen…
…the hidden and the revealed.