I met Akasha ten years ago when we both lived near Dolores Park and traveled in similar orbits at Cellspace and Burningman. She is a beautiful, deep woman, a powerful healer, and her eyes really are as blue as they are in these pictures. Being one of my spiritually oriented Taurus sisters, Akasha and I have witnessed one another grow up in the past decade and have been there to lend a helping hand when the moment was right. This past year I’ve had a few Human Design and NLP sessions with her and left feeling expanded each time. If these are modalities you’re interested in, I highly recommend you seek her out.
When Akasha contacted me about doing a photo shoot I knew it would be a powerful experience – both in its depth of intention, its exploration and expression of beauty, and its potential for healing. And it certainly was. But from here on out I’m going to let Akasha tell you about her experience and insights in her own words. Enjoy!
It is an honor to be able to speak for a moment about my very shamanic transit into the heart of Beauty with Robin Clark. I have wanted so much to find a profound introduction to all of it – and I have returned to the simple expression of the most basic understanding of what I made contact with in this photo shoot process – the beauty which has always been available both within myself and without.
My name is Akasha and I have been in the healing arts since 1987. It has been an amazing exploration, and choosing the photo shoot has been a culmination of sorts to the road I have chosen to walk. I wanted to allow myself to relax into facing the camera and showing up.
While I have lived my life enjoying fashion and “looking good”, I have also been unwinding the ongoing battle I had with my mother around the skin deep aspects of beauty. My mother protected herself with beauty. It was how she could ascertain that things were OK in her world. If things looked good, they were. I rebelled against this for years because I knew that there were schisms beneath the appearances. I couldn’t in any way trust them, and I was angry that she focused so much on them. I will come back to this point – it has more to do with my experience since completing the shoot.
I had a number of considerations for what I wanted to reveal and embody and share. After two shoot dates passed by and my deepest fears were emerging to the light of day (“I will take horrible pictures, I don’t know how to be seen, I am so afraid and unprepared for this”), I had to drop down and face all of it. I had to face the basic logistics, get oriented to what was really going to happen in the shoot, and walk towards it with my head held high. The insecurities, the fears, the recriminations – all had to be less significant, and outside of what I choose to identify with.
When the day finally came and I leaned in, all of the things I said I wanted became focused on one harmonized theme. I wanted to show my deeper feminine nature. The warrior, the over compensating masculine side of me which has been running the show for so long, was going to have to take a back seat. Being soft, gentle, loving-the qualities which as I find myself are the prevalent qualities I recognize as my true nature, they were the Alpha and the Omega.
I most definitely came up against the warrior at moments. I went through various difficult emotions to reach in and relax. In the later part of the day I met the biggest chunk of resistance. I felt totally stymied and ready to drop it all. Robin, being the exceptional counsel and wise woman that she is, stood toe to toe with this in me. She knew how to speak to both the resistance and the desire, and she knew how to ask for me to recover the softness. Her questions were deeply insightful, and sooner than later I crossed the invisible self made line I have lived behind most of my life into the soft light gorgeous feminine. I reclaimed it there in redwood park for myself.
The pictures have been an incredible testament to what has been yearning to come forth for so many years. In the aftermath of the shoot, I have been using the pictures to remind myself what I choose to share vs what the default settings used to be. I have, in a sense, found peace with allowing the external be an opportunity for the great Beauty I wish to embody and live through.
My mother passed away two months after the shoot and she did not get to partake in the photos. But I know in my own healing process with her that she can witness the transformation in me, which I know lends to her own in spirit. The resistance is melting away. I am more receptive and allowing.
Choosing to move through this with Robin has not simply been a means to increase my work potential or show people how beautiful I can be. It was and is a ritual in claiming my own essence and allowing that to be seen and felt far and wide by whomever sees them. It is a part of my self actualization, and an experience I would recommend to each and every woman calling for such things to herself.
Being OK with myself, being grounded in my nature, loving what the camera offers to the world – all of this is integral to the awakening which came with Robin. I am excited to imagine what I will birth from all of this, noticing what the pictures bring forth, discovering new ways to open up to the softness, and perhaps do another shoot!