If you want your life to flow here’s the deal: You have to engage the step you’re on. Like put your foot ALL the way down right here and dig in. It might not be sexy or glamorous, but it’s real. And if you’re really committed to evolution in your life, as opposed to the drama of striving, this is how it happens. One. Step. At. A. Time.
We’re a culture of hustlers. Pushing, grasping, scheming. Trying to achieve. Trying to make things happen. And trying to make ourselves feel purposeful and secure through all the busy-ness. This approach has us living two steps ahead of where we’re at. We’re excited about our plans, excited about where that may take us, buzzing through our days in a distracted daze. This way of “living” is so ingrained in most of us that we’d have to really stop and think before being able to even say where we’re at because we’re usually so far ahead of ourselves.
I talk to lots of people who are FRUSTRATED because what they want isn’t happening the way or in the timing that they want. They’ve been banging their heads against the wall and thinking about it so much they’ve become depleted and feel anxious. Bizarrely, this is pretty common. Our culture is mired in striving and obtaining our self-worth and confidence from our achievements, instead of how well we’re able to listen to our hearts and work with the flow of life.
Thing is, our revved up, living steps beyond where we’re at approach is a way of avoiding the feelings that come up when we do engage with the here/now. Things like patience, vulnerability, compassion, acceptance. Things like INTIMACY. Things like humility and being willing to do the work.
There’s a deep let-go that happens when we stop trying to be somewhere else, accept where we’re at, and live the step we’re on well. When we drop the idealized fantasy of where we wish we were at and the drama of trying to make all that happen and start living where we are.
I love questions and I think part of being a skillful participant in your life is being a skillful investigator of you’re experience. That said, and since this is my Monday coaching influenced post, I’m going to toss a few questions your way. Grab a pen, go deep…
- Do you know the step you’re on? Consider this both in the overall and the various parts of your life like emotional maturity, spiritual development, work, creativity, relationships, home, health.
- When you take the time to connect the dots of your life, what do you see?
- If you see you’ve been caught up in striving or distraction, are you willing to slow down enough to see what feelings you’ve been running from? What’s there?
- What needs attention in your life? What is the work of where you’re currently at?
- Do you have a story that keeps you from being where you’re at and enjoying your life as it is? If so, what is it? Is this working for you?
“How do I know that I don’t need what I want? I don’t have it.” – Byron Katie