Mercury Retrograde had some fun with me and my website went down for a bit over a week. Apologies for no posts for a couple of Mondays, though I must admit having a break from writing to do other things was nice. And so is getting back to it. Here goes…
The modern social ritual begins with each person stating their name and what they do. Oh, you’re Tiffanie and you’re a fundraiser. OK, check. Now everything you say from this point forward will be added to the folder labeled (in beautiful font, we hope): Tiffanie Fundraiser. Unless it doesn’t, in which case I may become confused or distracted.
You know this feeling, right? When you tell someone about yourself and instead of going for the five words or less summation, you decide to say a little more, and they check out. It’s a bizarre social phenomenon that makes me wonder if we’ve become incapable of seeing each other’s full range? Or, perhaps more accurately (because all outward perception is our projection): Have we become incapable of seeing our own?
ACCEPTING YOUR VASTNESS
It makes my heart hurt to consider that perhaps we, as individuals in this culture, have unconsciously given away our power through wanting others to be our source of approval to such a degree that we actually WANT to fit into boxes so others will understand and “like” us.
Meeting expectations in the sense of following through on agreements is awesome. But contorting or dismembering yourself to meet others perceived expectations (which may very well be all in your head) is self-abandonment – the antithesis of self-love.
Maybe you, like almost everyone, had someone in your life model or try to beat into you that some parts of you are OK, but others are not and you’ve been on a quest to be only what you believe is acceptable and hide the rest. Maybe you’ve taken this into your business and you offer one service or product when you’d really love, and be incredibly good at, doing several things… or something completely different altogether. But you know, when you’re alone with your thoughts, how tense these divisions that are motivated by your desire for approval make you feel. I certainly do.
In these moments of soul-searching we ask ourselves: How do we fit the wild contradictions of our natures, the vastness of the sky of stars that we are, into one beautiful tea cup we and others can deliciously sip on?
My take is: It already all fits. You just have to zoom out (through zooming very far withIN) to see and appreciate your unique flavor of the divine concoction that’s you. Spoiler alert though: It’s vast and the only simple summation you’re going to find is I AM. Anything else begins to cut you off from the fullness. And yet… because we are full of contradictions in this cosmically comical human experience, in this life you do have a particular set of gifts, talents, and strengths so in connecting to your vastness, you’ll also tap into the vision of how your spirit wants to express its vast offering in this lifetime.
EVERYONE IS A RAGING ECCENTRIC
In a sea of people bogged down from the weight of their habits and complexity of their choices, vitality stands out and beckons like glistening sunshine on a winter’s day. When you zero-in on people with that lithe aliveness, that innate power, you notice one thing: they are uniquely themselves. And when you dig a little deeper, you notice they’re kind of quirky odd-balls, specialists in the uniqueness of themselves. They may be good at many things, but they’re exceptional in the unique way they bring it all together.
My favorite professor, who I took probably five classes from while in college, was Paul Gordon. He was fun, energetic, wore leather pants with flannels and t-shirts, was the head of the Humanities Department, the lead singer and guitarist of a local rock band, smart as a whip regarding things psychological, artistic, and literary, and taught classes like “The Psychoanalysis of Pulp Fiction.” I LOVED him. Finally – education that was expansive and made me think!
Everyone’s like this. An unexpected, ever-unfolding, ecclectic mix of this AND that. And that’s not only OK, it’s fantastic. You might do many things, seemingly unrelated, with the only common denominator holding them together being YOU and that’s enough.
Despite everything you may’ve had impressed upon you, you do not have to compromise or tone yourself down. Quite the opposite, actually – in allowing you to be all that you are and expressing it, you come home to yourself. You toss off the tension of division and self-judgment. You shift your creative focus from compartmentalizing yourself to integration and expression. And, you start playing a much more interesting game: learning how to inhabit and channel your unique vastness.