Last week I said I was going to write three posts and instead I wrote two. The third was written, but it’s what happened after the second post that led me to not post the third, pause, and instead write the one you’re reading now.
Allow me to explain.
My view is that Life is our teacher. Always guiding, steering, adjusting. Rev. Michael Beckwith says:
Spirit can’t provide a correction if you have no direction. When we set a direction through the power of intention, the Universe will give us feedback. The fundamental goodness of the Universe will step in & expand our view. Even if we take a misstep, it doesn’t matter. Our sincerity will draw to us a correction that will set us firmly on our path. Set a direction & Spirit will provide the correction!
My direction was to write about being organized. It’s a good topic. In fact, I’d say it’s in the top 5 things I see that aide or block creative focus and flow in myself and those I work with. And it built on the previous two posts. But that will have to wait for another time because this past week’s “correction” has me inspired to talk about SLOWING DOWN.
Anxiety is our friend
After I hit publish on last Tuesday’s blog, a huge electric ball of anxiety erupted in me. One of my theories is that anxiety (or calm) reveals the distance between our conscious operating self and the other parts of us. When all of us is moving forward in a harmonious way, we feel calm, focused, and are able to carry on with ease. But when one or more parts of us are in disagreement, are digging their heels in, have fears the driving parts of us want to deny, then anxiety kicks in telling us that our inner band of cohesion is being stretched. If we persist, anxiety increases. If we want to feel calm, we have to come back to center.
Sometimes I forget that in moving forward, in being creative, in being more in the world and connected to people through blogging, art, teaching, services, social media. and doing online and in the world things – not all of me likes it or feels ready for it. Huge parts of me are. But really key parts of me are still developing, still ripening. They find business and computer time tedious, they’re scared of being seen, they feel like they’re breaking agreements I unconsciously made before I knew how to speak.
Creative action gets our energy pumping. It’s like Drain-O on our systems and brings to the surface parts of us that had been tucked away. It’s such a gift because what had been hidden and stuck is now moving and available for integration.
Usually, we run from anxiety. We feel it coming, we sense what’s underneath it, we try to manage or avoid it, and distract ourselves from feeling it – not that it ever works. But it’s one of the best friends we’ve got – it’s showing us which way to go: in.
The way forward is in
Our cultural imprint shapes our association with the statement If You Want It, You’ve Got to Earn it. The assumption is to work harder, longer, and make something HAPPEN. And, sure, we do need to engage our lives more fully. Working, both the act of it and experiencing the fruits of it, makes us feel good about ourselves. And doing what we say we’ll do strengthens our trust in ourselves which hugely impacts our ability to trust and enjoy all aspects of life.
But since our real mission in these beautiful lives we’re living is to WAKE UP, then it’s not only about engaging the plot level creation “to-do” list. It’s also about engaging much more fully in our internal work. Our embracing our shadow work. Our personal responsibility work. Our peeling back the layers and loving what is work. Our expanding our ability to accept and allow work. Our dis-identifying with ego and remembering who we are work.
Given how we’ve been conditioned, we’re programmed to feel (and possibly deny that we feel) fear at the idea of slowing down and of going in. My immediate ego response, and perhaps your’s to, is that internal work is fine and all but it’s time consuming and it would be better for me to get stuff done, otherwise I won’t get there.
What I’ve noticed though is that the more I am able to see anxiety’s presence as a gift and take it as a message to slow down and go within, the less resistant and tight I feel, the more in harmony with myself I feel, and the more I attract to me what I seek because I am more a vibrational match for it. And, I feel more freed up to create, express, and be seen because the parts of me that are freaked out about it all aren’t feeling isolated and screaming at me for attention.
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” —Mahatma Gandhi